Yorkie Tips On How NOT To Auditon For "The Apprentice!"

Ever dare someone to do something? Well, that’s how Meteorologist Ron Trotta and I ended up in the audition line of Donald Trump’s The Apprentice. First we thought, ” This is gonna be a New York event so let’s do the weather from there. “ And then we thought, “Heck, if we’re gonna do the weather from there, why not see how far we can go in this audition. Is Donald Trump pet friendly? Does he appreciate and reward those of us who work like dogs? Is height and hair color a factor? Pondering (pondering?) these questions, Meteorologist Ron and I shook paws and decided to team up and go for it. And since neither one of us have yet to get a call back from “The Donald” -- I thought I’d share some tips on how not to audition for Mr. Trump and The Apprentice.

Jumping ahead to the end just like in Damages . . .

Tip #1 -- Asking Mr. Trump to pose with a member of the canine population will not get you closer to the Board room.

Posing for a picture with me? I take it that's a "No!"

Tip #2 -- Don’t try to bribe your way to the front of the audition line with treats. The humans who have been there since 3 AM might not appreciate your charming ruthlessness so early in the game. Arf-Arf!

Am I being "Out of Line?" Arf-Arf!

Tips #3 -- It’s not necessary to start building alliances while in the audition line.

Hey, nice outfits. I'm sure "The Don" will love them. Wink-Wink.

Tip #4 - Don’t be fooled into thinking that begging, chasing your tail, or doing a weather report with your line mates will get you any points with The Don . . .

Tip # 5 -- It’s not a smart idea to do a TV interview if you’re playing hooky from Doggie Day Care.

Did you know I won the Westminster Dog Show 3 times.

I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here.

Tip # 6 -- Refrain from telling Donald Trump hair jokes. You never know who might be listening.

Seriously, I thought his hair was one of my long lost litter mates. LOL!

Tip #7 -- Don’t try and hide in an eye-catching pink bag when you discover Mr Trump doesn’t allow dogs in his building.

What? No dogs? Where's the ACLU when ya need em'!

Tip # 8 -- Resist listening in on Mr. Trump’s conversations. Why get kicked out just to hear when his tee time is.

What - no tee times today? You're fired!

Tip #9 -- Don’t mention you’re friends with Rosie O’Donnell during the interview.

The Ron with The Don!

Tip # 10 -- Avoid making faces when you know your chances of being on The Apprentice is slim to none. Why ruin your chances for next year. Arf-Arf!

Blah, blah. Who wants to be in your silly old show anyway.

Phooey. Who wants to be in your silly old show anyway.

So, for all you humans out there who want to work for Donald Trump -- I hope my tips helped. And like Meteorologist Ron Trotta and me, if you didn’t get called back -- the good news is you will never have to sit in front of Mr. T and hear those two little words . . .